Over the last few days, I’ve been consulting on the planning for Barbara’s Pagan memorial service, which occurs tomorrow at 3pm. I’ve gathered items for the altar, tools for use during the ritual, and helped plan (and in one case, purchase1) the music.
Yes, there will be New Orleans Jazz Funeral Music, but there will also be other music she loved. Things like Dancing in the Moonlight by King Harvest, Pagan folk music, and other such. What there won’t be is depressing songs like Dust in the Wind by Kansas. This is to be an upbeat service, a celebration of her life, not a mourning of her passing.
That said, I’ll be a mess anyway. I already know that. I have absolutely no doubt of it. I’m a mess now, even writing this. I really can’t help it. Even the good memories trigger my feeling of loss. I know that will get better with time, and I also know it will never cease completely. Another great memory, but one I can’t enjoy right now, revolves around Jim Croce’s Time in a Bottle. I used to sing along with the radio on occasion, and that song was the first one I ever sang to her. Right now, I can’t stand the thought of even hearing that song.
Music was such a huge part of our life together. We loved Stevie Nicks, Jethro Tull (Fire at Midnight, Velvet Green), Jim Croce (especially the love songs), James Taylor. She introduced me to Stevie Nicks, and I introduced her to Jim Croce. We laughed and loved to music. Her iPod, which I gave her as a birthday present, has 72 GB used, most of which is music.
I wonder, will I ever enjoy music again?
1Yes, the music links go to Amazon. No, I won’t get anything from you clicking on them. It’s just a convenient place to link to, and where I tend to buy my music.