OK, for a while there, it seemed as though Cymbalta was helping me cope. This past weekend, though, the truth raised its ugly head and bit me. I developed severe adverse reactions to it. Not any serious physical ones, but mental and emotional ones. I became combative, depressed, and suicidal. When I wasn’t depressed, I developed mania. I frightened a lot of people, myself included.
I realized, finally, what was going on just before midnight last night. I had a great deal of difficulty going to sleep, and when I did, it was fitful. I woke up this morning and called the office of the prescribing doctor as soon as they opened. I told a nurse what was happening, and she had the doctor call me. I got the word just a few minutes ago. I am to immediately stop Cymbalta. I’m supposed to call my PCP and get a referral to a psychiatrist for ongoing treatment. I don’t think the HMO is going to cover that. The PCP doctor is closed for lunch now.
I’m very afraid to spend the night alone tonight. Afraid of withdrawal symptoms, and afraid of the potential for even worse depression to return. No way will I be able to get into see an HMO psychiatrist in less than a week. There’s always the possibility that the Cymbalta was actually the cause of the depression all along, and the increased dosage was simply what it took to bring that to light. Who knows though? I wonder what “withdrawal symptoms” will be like?
But far worse is the fact that I frightened away people I love, who apparently can’t stand the idea of being around me again. There’s a web site, FML, that seems so very appropriate now. I’d post my story there, but no one would believe it.