Homework


Went to see the therapist today, for the first time since Barbara died. (We have history, as he was treating her for complex PTSD before her hospitalization, and I was going with her.) The session helped me a lot. No details here, for obvious reasons. The diagnosis is complicated grief . I go back in two weeks (I can’t afford weekly), and I have homework to do. Painful, difficult, soul wrenching homework.

But he’s right. I need to do it.

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About Janet Logan

Well educated woman, transgender / transsexual, lesbian, Reiki practitioner, LGBT activist, polyamorous, and eclectic Pagan.
This entry was posted in Complicated Grief, grief, Mental health and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Homework

  1. Bleuz00m says:

    Ernie,
    Regarding complicated grief, I’ve been there.. am still there, in some ways. Dealing with both parents’ deaths, my brother’s complex medical issues and the agonizing legal and financial aftermath are still unfolding. I won’t share any of that herein.

    Two books have helped me beyond words AND beyond utterly useless therapy. This first one, ‘A Time To Grieve,’ — by Carol Staudacher, Harper San Francisco,1994 — is a day-by-day unfolding of patients’ grief and how they coped, with surprisingly helpful suggestions. When all the platitudes kindly shared by family and friends begin to wane, but an easing doesn’t come and the nightmares don’t abate, this book helped me do my own ‘homework,’ just so I could be less-zombie-like and functional, without relying on pharmaceutical solutions to fuzz my brain.

    The second one, ‘Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy –A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner,’ –by J. William Worden, 3rd Ed, Springer Publishing Co., 2002 — is a more detached analysis, with insights into stages of grief and how to unwind them. No, it’s not a retelling of Kubler-Ross’s landmark work on grief; it builds on Kubler-Ross’s findings from a practical standpoint.

    Of the two books, the first is tear-stained; simply stated.

    At two points, I did try a pharma approach, but neither helped at all. The ::only:: things that really helped were music: I forced myself to go to live classical and jazz performances; home improvement projects like painting and furniture refinishing; exercise — just walking and some fishing, nothing crazy — and gardening. Primarily solitary pursuits that made me focus on something OTHER than the unrelenting saga left me by my parents.

    I still have a lemon tree that I grew from a seed, back when this all began. Somehow, the muses knew, and presented me with a store-bought lemon, which, when I cut it open, out sprang a stalk with leaves and roots. That tree is twenty-years old now. Yes.. when life gives you lemons…

    Hoping the new meds your MDs suggest for fibro management are a MUCH better solution than the Cymbalta nightmare you went through! That fibro may be viral-based IS a breakthrough. Like friends with Guillaume=Barre syndrome — whose symptoms were also summarily dismissed by physicians — there seems to be a parallel. Do keep your eyes pealed for any new NIH studies pending?

    Best,

    Amy (aka @ Bleuz00m)

    • Raven Xanadu says:

      Thanks for the insights, Amy. And yes, I am watching for that NIH study. And you let me know if you see it first, OK?

      • Bleuz00m says:

        Absolutely, Ernie! If you don’t already have a login on Medscape, do it. It is the first stage news source, apparently, for medical professionals. It is where I discovered that my brother had been grossly misdiagnosed, for one thing. And it posts clinical trial news before the results hit MSM. Just have a medical dictionary site open as you read through it.

        Though I’m not a doctor, I’ve gone through several of their CME practica and – bonus – earned frame-able CME certificates, to boot. Being fully informed is the best way to be fully armed, I’ve found? At least try to be, any way..

        -a

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