Endings and Beginnings

My time in Texas has ended. That decision was in large part due to another ending. Back in mid February, an intense nine month love affair came to an end. She said she wanted to remain friends, and I did my best to do just that. It didn’t work out. So I left for “parts unknown”.

Truth be told, parts unknown is rural Arkansas. My heart daughter in Arkansas had been after me for a while to come and live with her and her family. She needs the help I can provide, and I need the unconditional love she has offered me. The breakup hurt me deeply. The relationship was toxic, and I suspect it’s a good thing that it is over. Someday in the near future, I hope I can actually believe that latter. I definitely believe the former.

So far, the limited interactions I have had with Arkansans have been cordial and pleasant enough. As a trans woman, I was more than a little apprehensive about living in any rural community, much less rural Arkansas. No one here has been the least unpleasant to me, but I only arrived early Sunday morning. Even in the suburbs of Houston, I was verbally assaulted on a few occasions. My family cares for me, and has made me feel more than welcome. For that I am extremely grateful.

About Janet Logan

I am a well educated transgender woman, a lesbian, and an eclectic Pagan. I am loving, and giving. I am a caretaker type, who often fails miserably at self care. I have fibromyalgia and major depression, and antidepressants make me suicidal. I am a widow. The day that my wife died, the doctor came to me asking for permission to stop life-saving measures. I said the words "call it" to the doctor, thus finalizing her death. I am complex, complicated, and worth the effort.
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